I am a chicken.

Does anyone else out there sometimes feel like they're just going through life like a chicken with its head cut off? That's how I felt today.

I was at my job, teaching ESL to five 16 year old girls from Japan... and they were all sitting there just staring at me, they didn't have a clue what I was talking about. I kept trying to explain myself.. I was using gestures, writing instructions down (it was like a game of Pictionary for god sakes)... they still had no clue. I don't know how some teachers make it look so easy.. they just get up there and explain everything so easily. I guess I can't give up so quickly though... I mean I only started this job about a month ago..but I feel so out of my element and so uncomfortable standing up there in front of those girls.

After leaving today (I pretty much sprinted out of the high school), I just kept asking myself  if I'll ever be so lucky to find a job that I love to do... something I am passionate about. I don't even know what that word means anymore... passionate. What am I passionate about? Ugh. Stress. Does anybody else think as much as I do about passion? Nothing scares me more then waking up every morning for the next thirty years going to a job that I hate.

Anyway, after my mini-meltdown on the drive home I reminded myself that I am only 24 years old. From a young age I was groomed in school to "figure out what you want to do! You have to have a profession! You have to decide a major in University!"I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm on my way to finishing my Bachelor of Arts in English.... and you know why I finally chose that major? I have no idea if it's what I will love, I just know that I have to have some sort of degree to even have a chance at getting a job I might love.

For those of you who know what you want to do with your life... congratulations... I think you're extremely lucky to know that.. For the rest of us... I hope that with a little bit of luck (and education) we actually won't mind waking up at 7:00am every morning to go to a job.. because it's something we love to do.

Hello, I'm in Deleware: City and Colour

Cheers,
M.